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Well, it's been quiet a long time since i last posted a blog, or any form of expressing my thoughts. Maybe because most of my writings were posted in multiply and multiply isn't as popular as it was before. And maybe because we stopped subscribing to smartbro months before i left Philippines. For whatever reason, those were the days. So many moments i wish i could have documented. Still feeling a little blue thinking were the hell my N82 went..haha
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Across the miles, there's a place i call home. Each day i wake up late in afternoon every summer. Sending group messages.. asking for their plans for the day, or just bugging them. Almost everyday when clock hits 6 and one quarter, i would probably be at McCafe drinking frappé or if money isn't cooperating, just the coke float. All days of the week is loaded with dance classes. but still, me and my friends would find time to bond. or I even find time for my highschool friends. That's typically my everyday life after I stopped schooling and after i quit my first job ever which is being a call center agent.
But then i realized as time goes by. As I spend my days not studying, the thought of wasting my time as supposed to be a student becomes more clearer. But what makes me stay aside from my siblings' papers not ready, is the immaturity of thinking only about hanging out and leaving my friends.
But here i am now, starting a new life in country called "the land down under". And what makes decide to finally go is the feeling of longing for a new environment. I have no regrets knowing the people i knew back then. Only that, I dont think i belong to their parade anymore. most of them are still studying. And sometimes, it disappoints me to send group messages asking them something but getting nothing. It only makes it more vivid. That not all the time, someone is out there...
Across the miles, yes, i would still go back. hope to do the same old ways..maybe fulfill some of the things from my to-do-list. Or me and my highschool friends would try the things we always wanted like meeting up every once a in a month to have dinner..just the like the way they do it in the film "one more chance". hahaha...
So many stories in the world... some have the story of having an abusive parent, some have the story of being the perfect child but a lonely student, some are lost during their teenage years... so i wondered. Why does my story has to be about someone leaving the place where I don't think I even had the chance to fix my life and my relationship with others? I always hated the idea! darn!.....
But then, whatever confusion may bother, whatever changes in my phase would happen, i always put into my mind...thatGod, God has bigger plans for me than i have for myself. So,life goes on...guess i'll have to start from scratch here. Find a best friend? a dance school? sing, study, dream, ALL! I have no choice... but across the miles, i'm not sure, but i hope, things will still be the same when i get back...
Maybe now is not the right time, but if second life is true, I'll be looking for all of u! And make up for the time we lost.....because no matter how i make myself believe, i just can't find another u! =)